


Dethblood

by seashadows



Series: Lady Klok [3]
Category: Metalocalypse
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Genderswap, Menstrual Sex, Originally Posted on LiveJournal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-05
Updated: 2013-05-05
Packaged: 2017-12-10 12:04:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/785860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seashadows/pseuds/seashadows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nadia and Willa finally do it...and there's blood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dethblood

  
It all started when Tove, as usual, piped up with one of her bullshit bits of way too much information in the hot tub. “De guys makes lots of jizz,” she said, chewing on her finger and looking around at her bandmates. “I fucks a groupie last night, and he comes so much I changes my sheets. Wowee, was so yucks!”   
  
Nadia had just taken a gulp of her drink when Tove spoke – bad luck for her, because it fizzed painfully out of her nose as she choked. “Jesus _fuck_ , Tove, what’s wrong with you?” she rasped, once she was sure that she wasn’t going to inhale beer and die (good song title, though). “God, learn to shut up.”   
  
“But ams true!” Tove protested. Her eyes were huge and blue, and (oh, _fuck_ , she was pulling _that_ move again) Nadia could swear her lower lip was wobbling. “Guys am makes de jizzes so much. It real yucks and gross. De ladies don’ts jizz…does dey?” She switched to chewing on her thumb.   
  
“Oh, sure, dood,” Pickles said. She was _totally_ baked; Nadia rubbed her nose, a little irritated by the cloud of smoke surrounding the drummer. “Ladies jizz, too. Not all of ‘em, but…y’ever been jilling off and this clear stuff came out? Deat’s lady jizz.”   
  
“Noes,” Tove whispered, shoving more of her hand into her mouth. “You makes dis stuffs up unside yous, Pickle?”   
  
If it had been Nadia, well, Tove would’ve gotten _punched_ , but Pickles was more easygoing. “Yeh,” she said, taking another hit off her joint and blowing a smoke cloud as she shot her bandmate a dopey smile. “Don’t come out _all_ the time, but it sure feels great when it does – get yer fuckin’ hand outta yer mouth, kid!”   
  
“Mmngh.” Tove shook her head and chomped down on her knuckles. Nadia would never understand some of her bandmates’ habits, like Sigrid refusing to go onstage unless she’d come beforehand – which Nadia had found out in a really embarrassing way once, when Charlotte put her foot down about groupies in the pre-show band space and she walked into the dressing room to find the lead guitarist with her hand in her pants. _Awkward_. And hot, but mostly awkward. Anyway, it wasn’t like Tove was alone in doing weird shit. “Dis stuff makes a mess?” she asked through a mouthful of fingers.   
  
“Aw, _schut_ up,” Murderface groaned from her position on the couch. She’d declined to get into the hot tub with everyone else today, which probably meant she was riding the cotton warhorse and was going to make everything miserable for the rest of them. Great. “Don’t talk about fuckin’ lady jizz. Gonna turn everyone into leschbiansch.”   
  
“Don’t be an asshole.” Pickles took another toke and flicked the joint at Murderface, which startled a surprised screech out of the bassist, and a frantic stomping as Murderface’s boots took care of any possibility of setting the rug on fire. “You tellin’ me you never jizzed?”   
  
Murderface scowled, crossing her arms over her chest. “None of your buschinesch.” Holy fucknuts, was she _blushing_? Oh man. Nadia mentally upgraded this conversation in the list of Awkward Blackmail Fuel from five to three. “It’sh juscht gay.”   
  
“So? _Dood_. Everyone’s a little gay.” Pickles shrugged, casual, like what she’d just said wasn’t a big fat world-cracking controversy to at least one member of the band. That was the best way to deal with Murderface; they’d all found it out early. If you didn’t freak out along with her, she eventually burned herself out and stomped off. “You don’t wanna talk about it, don’t talk about it.”   
  
“I _don’t_.” Murderface pushed her upper lip out and snarled a little. “ _You_ were the one who kept bringing it up! Like, oh, do you shquirt? Do _you?_ Jeezy! _You’re_ the pervertsch!”  
  
Nadia cleared her throat. “Yeah, well… _I_ squirt.” There, she said it. Murderface would just have to deal – it would be pretty funny to watch the bassist’s head explode, anyway. Figuratively. Literal exploding bassist heads would be way too gross, even for Nadia.   
  
“Oh, _wowee!_ ” Tove’s eyes opened even wider, her exclamation drowning out Sigrid’s ‘Pfft.’ “So many ladies what jizzes here! Does you all gots ding-dongs?”   
  
“ _No_ , dood. It’s a…gland or something. Dunno.” Pickles grinned, slapping Tove’s wet shoulder with her equally wet hand. “This clear stuff just comes out your pussy. It’s kind of metal. Hey, Nadia!” She swung her head, wet dreadlocks flying, to look at her bandmate. “You wanna demonstrate? Kid needs to know how metal it is.”   
  
If Nadia hadn’t just drunk ten beers (exactly ten), she would’ve said no, but ten beers was enough to make her mind cloudy even on her best days. “Yeah, fine.” With a grunt, she hiked one leg up so that her foot rested on the hot tub bench, then reached between her legs to rub a finger against the outer lips of her pussy. The hot water burned, but it was an _awesome_ burn – the kind that turned her on. “ _Nngh_ fuck. Might take a while.”   
  
“Oh, like I ain’ts seen no one does dat before,” was Sigrid’s contribution. Nadia ignored her.   
  
Tove stared. “You…you really gots you’s fingers down dere?”   
  
“Yeah. Pickles wanted a demo. Right, Pickles?”   
  
“Right.”   
  
“Fuck, I _knew_ it!” Murderface shouted, standing up so fast that the driving gun she was cleaning crashed to the floor, letting off a round that embedded itself in the wall. “You’re juscht a leschbian. A big, fat, dirty _leschbian_!”   
  
Suddenly, the beer haze was gone. Nadia flinched, jerking her fingers out of the water and climbing out of the tub so fast that water poured off her onto the rec room floor. “Fuck _off_ ,” she growled, lowering her voice so that it was as metal and threatening as possible. There was a lump rising in her throat, and if she didn’t watch it, she was going to start crying in front of everyone – and it was because of fucking _Murderface_. “ _You’re_ the gay one.” Weak. “And a bitch.” That was better, and true.   
  
“Schure,” Murderface said, putting her hands on her hips. “But at leascht I’m not _gay_.”   
  
_Shit_. Nadia blinked a few times, focused a glare on Murderface (and another one on the rest of the band for good measure), then spat out a “Go fuck yourself” and ran, not even bothering to put her clothes back on. If the Klokateers couldn’t take a little jiggling, then they could go fuck themselves, too.   
  
She was panting by the time the door to her room slammed behind her ( _god_ , she’d let herself go). Plunking down on her bed, she buried her face in her shaking hands and sniffled, rubbing at her eyes as a few tears leaked out. Crying was fucking un-metal; maybe she was PMS-ing or something. That would explain why she was being all girly. Why was it that Murderface got her more upset than anyone?   
  
After a minute or two of being stupid and not metal, she rubbed the back of her hand across her face, got dressed, and picked up a Rolex from her bedside table. Narrowing her eyes and taking aim, she threw it as hard as she could; it flew across the room and smashed against her wall. “ _Awesome_ ,” she rumbled. Smashing things always made her feel better; it was even better than hug therapy.   
  
She was just about to throw another watch when a knock on her door startled her. The watch dropped out of her hand onto her bed, where it bounced a little before settling. “ _What?_ I’m busy _smashing stuff!_ ” People knew not to fucking interrupt her when she was smashing stuff.   
  
“Nadia?”   
  
Fuck, what was _she_ doing here? “What the _fuck_ , Murderface? Go away before I, uh, kill you or something.” Or just pounded her into the floor and left her there to twitch for a while. That would be satisfying.   
  
“What? I jusht wanna shay schorry. Can’t I shay schorry?” Nadia could just picture Murderface scowling and kicking at the floor with her boots – the muffled thumps she heard outside the door definitely proved that her mental image was right.   
  
“ _Sorry?_ ” Nadia snorted. “You called me a fucking dirty lesbian. Sorry isn’t cutting it, jackhole.”   
  
“Aw, _come_ on! I was juscht being a dick,” Murderface protested. “I’m on my period, okay? I’m alwaysch a dick when I’m on my period. Can I come in and apologische already, or are you gonna give me a guilt compleksch?”   
  
As tempting as Option Two was, a bassist with a guilt complex would probably sound even shittier than usual. Nadia sighed, got up (throwing the watch for good measure before she did), and threw the door open. “Make it fast.”   
  
Instead of spitting it out and leaving, Murderface pushed past Nadia and actually came in. “Schee, I didn’t mean it,” she began. “That’sh juscht what I call people when I’m being a dick.”   
  
“You already said that.” Nadia rolled her eyes. “Look, okay, so maybe you didn’t want to see my crotch. That’s _fine_. You could’ve just left or something instead of being homer… _homophobic_.” She was pretty sure she was using that word right.   
  
“It’sch not like I didn’t – I mean…” Murderface’s cheeks flooded bright red, and she cleared her throat. Oh, fuck, this was turning out to be _super_ blackmail material, if that slip-up meant what Nadia thought it did. Or…uhh…something else that had to do with the fact that Nadia was getting turned on. What the _fuck?_ “It’sch not homophobic if you’re not a leschbian.”   
  
“Not a…? _Dude_. I fuck lady groupies, too. You blind?” Maybe that didn’t make her a lesbian, but she definitely wasn’t _straight_.   
  
“Well, excusche the _hell_ outta me for not watsching who you fuck,” Murderface retorted. Her entire face was redder than one of Charlotte’s ties. “That’sch perverted. And gay.”   
  
“Yeah?” Wait. Something was coming together in Nadia’s head; the gears were slowly starting to grind. She’d read something once about overcompensation or some shit like that – was that what _this_ was? Shit. Shit on a shingle. “Um. No one else doesn’t watch who I fuck on _purpose_. You, uhhh…compensating?”   
  
“ _Compenschating?_ What the _fuck_ , Nadia?” Murderface’s voice rose into a screech. “You think I _want_ you, or schome schit like that? You’re nutsh.”   
  
“Okay, sure.” Nadia took a few steps closer; Murderface didn’t step back. That had to mean something. “But am I wrong?”   
  
Murderface’s eyes widened. She cleared her throat. “What?” she asked in a small voice.   
  
“Am I _wrong?_ ”   
  
There was a pause that lasted about a million years before Murderface answered. “No,” she finally said, crossing her arms. “You’re not _fuckin’_ wrong. Scho what? You think I’m gonna lady-rape you or schomething, juscht ‘caushe I’m fuckin’ _g -_ ”   
  
Oh, for fuck’s sake. Nadia took a few more steps forward, grabbed Murderface’s arms, and shut her up by planting her mouth on the bassist’s. Murderface went stiff, and she let out an indignant squeak into Nadia’s mouth – but she didn’t pull away. Not until she needed air, and then she moved away slowly, wiping her mouth. “Okay, scho you got me. You proved I’m fuckin’ _gay_. What are you gonna do, tell everyone?” She glared.   
  
“Fuck, no. Get on the bed.” Nadia jerked her thumb in the direction of said bed. “’Cause I’m gonna fuck you. If you, uh, want me to.” Belatedly, she’d remembered that she kind of had to ask people if it was okay to fuck them; otherwise, people got pissed.   
  
“I…uh…” Murderface’s jaw dropped open, her left eye twitching weirdly. “I’m _bleeding_. Ischn’t that a big problem?”   
  
Oh, right, she was on her period. Godfuckingdammit. “Um…yeah, right.” Nadia cleared her throat, feeling her own cheeks heat up. She was so fucking bad with other people’s lady problems. “Go, uh, take out whatever you’re using. In there.” She inclined her head towards the bathroom door. “And get naked. I’ll put a towel down.” Her towels were black and brutal, just like most of the things in her room; period blood probably wouldn’t show on it. Wouldn’t be the first time she’d fucked a chick on the rag, anyway.   
  
Murderface nodded (without protesting, which was weird) and disappeared into the bathroom. When she had gone, Nadia stripped off her shirt and jeans – bras weren’t metal, so she wasn’t wearing one today – and rummaged under the bed for a clean towel, which she spread over the sheets. Her towels were long and thick for maximum brutal coverage, so the black one she put down was probably big enough to keep from getting blood on the sheets.   
  
“Nadia? Do you need a towel, or do y - _schit_.” Murderface poked her head out of the bathroom door and immediately went bug-eyed. “You’re bare-assch naked.”   
  
“Fuck, yeah. The hell did you expect? I’m not gonna fuck you with my clothes on.”   
  
“Oh. Um.” Murderface scratched the back of her neck and gulped. “Uh. Scho if we’re gonna fuck, we schould do it shoon. I had a tampon in and I took it out, scho, uh. I don’t wanna bleed on the floor.”   
  
“Yeah. That’s gross.” Nadia pointed to the towel. “Get on the bed and, uh, lie down on that, okay?” Oh, wait, she had to _ask_ about stuff. “You’ve never done this before, right? With a chick, I mean.” Murderface shook her head. “Right. That’s what I thought. So is it okay if I, uh, go lead on this one?”   
  
The bassist nodded, declining to comment and instead walking over to the bed and hopping up to flump on the towel, a little awkwardly. Her thighs were trembling, and Nadia took the opportunity to ogle them. Murderface might have thought she was fat, but Nadia _liked_ her curves. Fuck, yeah – her belly was all soft, and so were her boobs. They looked like they’d be really fun to squeeze and lick and stuff.   
  
Nadia reeled her jaw in, swallowed to wet her dry throat, and lay down beside Murderface, propping herself up on one elbow. “Nervous?” she rumbled. “’Cause I kind of am.” _Scared_ , fuck. Murderface looked downright _terrified_. “What do you want me to do?”   
  
“Uhhh…” Oh, this was funny. Murderface sounded like _Nadia_ when she was thinking hard; Nadia hadn’t noticed that before, which was weird, because there was a lot of random shit that she did notice about Murderface. “Um. Kissch me? And then do, uh, gay schtuff.”   
  
Heh. Gay stuff. “Okay,” Nadia said. “I can do that.” Leaning in, she pressed her lips against Murderface’s again, this time flicking her tongue lightly against the other woman’s lips. “You like that?” she asked, pulling away.   
  
In response, Murderface let out a soft, whimpering moan that went right to Nadia’s cunt. “Uh-huh…”   
  
“Okay. I’ll do it again.” She kissed her again, deeply this time, and reached over to cover a breast with her palm. Murderface let out a moan into her mouth, and she took the opportunity to rub her hand in a gentle circle until another moan passed her lips.   
  
“Fuck…”   
  
“Yeah. Fuck.” Nadia stroked Murderface’s nipple lightly at first, then harder as her bandmate shivered at the attention. “You like that, huh?” Who’d have ever thought that she’d be fucking _Murderface?_ Well, she guessed she’d fucked weirder people, like that one guy who thought he was half snake. That had been a _really_ interesting tongue.   
  
“ _Nnn_. Like it a lot.” Murderface’s head fell back against the pillow, her eyes fluttering closed. “Pinsch harder?”   
  
“Huh. Kinky,” Nadia commented, and obliged, pinching Murderface’s nipple between the thumb and forefinger of one hand and licking the fingers of the other hand before applying it to her other nipple. That earned her some _really_ hot sex noises, and she moaned back, rubbing her thighs together. “Fuck…you wet?”   
  
“Whaddya _think_ , asschole?” Murderface shot back through gritted teeth. “I’m fuckin’ schoaked!”   
  
“Cool.” Nadia brought her thigh up between Murderface’s legs, which were spread – awesome. She was so good at playing with boobs that she’d actually made Murderface relax. “ _Fuck_. You’re right.” Murderface was warm and soft, and wet – some of it was probably blood, and that was _brutal_. “Shit, you’re hot…” The curls there were surprisingly soft; she’d always thought not doing any landscaping was kind of gross, but leave it to their _bassist_ to make it sexy.   
  
Murderface squeaked and wrapped her arms around Nadia’s back, digging her nails in. “ _Schit!_ ”   
  
“Nnn - _yeah_.” Nadia ground her thigh against Murderface’s pussy, feeling the roughness of the bass-playing scars on the other woman’s inner thigh as she slid her leg back and forth. They were _brutal_ , and only served to turn her on even more as they rocked against each other and their breasts pressed together. “Can you, uhhhh…do that to me?”   
  
“Oh…yeah, schure.” Murderface shifted, making their nipples rub together and sending sparks of shuddery pleasure through Nadia’s entire body. Her thigh made contact with Nadia’s cunt, hesitantly at first, then harder as she pressed against it. “Like that?”   
  
Nadia couldn’t speak; she only nodded, and slid her thigh between Murderface’s legs again. She didn’t really want to get blood on her face, but maybe she could eat her out another time. That is, if Murderface didn’t have a gay panic and run away after she’d come. Her breathing sped up with the movement of Murderface’s thigh, and she buried her face in the bassist’s shoulder. Fuck, she was totally going to leave a wet spot.   
  
Murderface clung on tightly, her breath coming in pants as she ground down on Nadia’s thigh even harder. “Fuck - _Nadia_ \- f-feelsch like…”   
  
“L-like you’re…gonna come?” Nadia turned her head to mouth at Murderface’s neck, sucking the warm skin.   
  
Apparently, Murderface liked biting. She squeezed Nadia hard enough to knock the breath out of her as she shook and yowled, grinding and wriggling against Nadia’s thigh hard enough to bruise – oh, yeah, that would _definitely_ leave a mark. Hot wetness flooded across her leg, and Nadia smiled in satisfaction even as she continued to grind on her. “You _definitely_ squirt.”   
  
“Schut up,” Murderface panted.   
  
“ _No_ ,” Nadia grunted, cutting her off. “You shut up and rub on me.”   
  
Grumbling, Murderface obeyed, rubbing her thigh harder into Nadia’s pussy. “Jackassch. Taking scho long to come.”   
  
Maybe it was the sound of her voice, but Nadia _did_ come then. She writhed, gasping and biting her lip to keep from screaming and being un-metal, feeling her pussy contract over and over with the strength of the orgasm. “Ffff- _fuck_ …Murderface!” Okay, so she screamed. It wasn’t metal. It also wasn’t a crime.   
  
She usually got up to take a piss after she came, but this time she just passed out, and didn’t come to until Murderface woke her up by shrieking. “FUCK! I fell aschleep – there’sch _blood_ in your bed! _Fuck…_ ”   
  
“Whuh?” Nadia blinked and looked down. “Aw, shit. Don’t freak out about it.” It wasn’t the first time she’d had blood in her bed. “Heh. You’re kind of like a…a water pistol or a blood pistol or something. Murderface…murder…murder _squirter_.”   
  
“Aw, _schut_ up!” Murderface scowled. “I _told_ you I wasch bleeding.”   
  
“Calm the fuck down,” Nadia said, giving her a slap on the back. “I’ll just throw you in the shower and do you again. That sound okay to you?”   
  
“Gay,” Murderface muttered, rolling her eyes.   
  
But she went with her anyway.


End file.
